| Time-keeping: be on time |
| We show a lack of respect by turning up late
for the start of sessions and interrupting individuals, who may be already
talking in the group. |
We respect our peers by ensuring we turn up before
the start of the sessions and if unavoidably late, quietly and discreetly
join the rest of the group. |
| |
| Mobile phones: switch off mobile
phones |
| We show a lack of respect when we allow our mobile
phone to ring during the session and disturb the discussion. |
We respect our peers by ensuring we switch off
our mobile phone prior to the start of the session. |
| |
| Talking too much: keep to the point |
| We show a lack of respect by using the limited
time available to talk about our own issues and ignoring the need of others
to share theirs too. |
We respect our peers by keeping to the point
in what we say and being aware that others need time to share their issues
too. |
| |
| Patience: wait until the other has
finished |
| We show a lack of respect by talking over people,
or interrupting them. |
We respect our peers by waiting until they have
finished, before we respond. |
| |
| Paying attention: manage the urge
to engage with others, while others speak |
| We show a lack of respect when we distract others
by whispering/talking or signalling to our neighbour, while another is
talking to the group. |
We respect our peers when we use self-control
to remain attentive to others who are talking. |
| |
| Differing points of view: agree or
disagree with 'points of view', not people |
| We show a lack of respect by judging others because
of their point of view, rather than just disagreeing with the point of
view itself. |
We respect our peers by agreeing/disagreeing
with their views rather than the person themselves. As a diverse group
of people, we are much more than a particular point of view, on a particular
occasion. |
| |
| Making assumptions: assume nothing
until checking it out first |
| We show a lack of respect by publicly expressing
assumptions about others and their lifestyles that we haven't verified. |
We respect our peers by tentatively checking
out assumptions first, before publicly expressing them. |
| |
| The right to hold a point of view:
accept diversity |
| We show a lack of respect by insisting on repeatedly
trying to change another's point of view just because it differs
from our own. |
We respect our peers when we accept that they
are entitled to hold different points of view for our own, even when challenged
in a respectful manner. No one individual has a monopoly on 'truth' or
'rightness' to impose on others. |
| |
| Impatient and/or bored: manage feelings
of impatience and boredom |
| We show a lack of respect by expressing obvious
signs of impatience and/or boredom when others are talking. |
We respect our peers when we use our own powers
to control these feelings and express them appropriately, assertively and
respectfully. |
| |
| Getting angry: managing feelings of
anger |
| We show a lack of respect when we work ourselves
into a state of annoyance/anger and express it inappropriately through
shouting, swearing, making snide remarks, walking out, physically threatening
others. |
We respect our peers by controlling our feelings
of anger, calming ourselves down, until we can express it assertively and
appropriately with the rest of the group. |
| |
| Talking outside sessions: discuss
generalities, not specific details |
| We show a lack of respect by disclosing (without
permission), the names and personal details of others outside the group,
whether it be partners, friends, acquaintances, etc. |
We respect our peers by keeping quiet about specific
names and personal details of others. However, we can discuss the general
content of sessions, points of view and conclusions. |
| |
| Meeting others outside the sessions:
be discreet |
| We show a lack of respect by associating others
with the group (without prior permission), if meeting them publicly. |
We respect our peers by being discreet about
how we know them, unless specifically okayed by the other. |
| |
| The 'voluntary' email list:
be responsible sending emails |
| We show a lack of respect by using the email
list thoughtlessly, without knowing who else might be accessing it and
possibly compromising the confidentiality of others |
We respect our peers by accepting responsibility
for risking our own details and being careful and discreet about sending
emails. |
| |
| Personal disputes with others: resolve
outside in private |
| We show a lack of respect by using the sessions
as public arenas for resolving personal disputes. |
We respect our peers by dealing with personal
disputes with others outside the sessions and in private. |
| |
| Complaints: follow the agreed complaints
procedure |
| We show a lack of respect by complaining outside
the agreed procedures |
We respect our peers by ensuring we exercise
our right to complain within the agreed procedures. |
